[Papyrus feels his face fall, as something drops in his rib cage. That tone of voice... it's not much different than how Sans sounded, talking about their father. That feeling... Papyrus can imagine the worrying, the bursts of self-recrimination, the wanting to do anything to protect him... the grieving regret.]
Right, I... died on you, before. I try not to think about that...
[Because, it's like it's not real. For all of Sans' distance and grief, Papyrus can't remember it. How can he be personally impacted by what is, effectively, a sad story? Plausible enough, he willingly believes in it.
It's kind of nice, especially right now, to know he hasn't changed much. That he's able to make similar-looking kinds of choices now, as he did back then. And it's a fun anecdote to briefly share on the radio, a curiosity to wonder at - what was dying like, anyway? - but the notion of time passing where he was just dead, for a long time... it's awful to imagine.]
But, I shouldn't forget how it's affected you. I'm truly sorry to have died! I'm... sure I never meant to.
[He understands that people... might choose that, out of desperate pain and the need to escape. Even people he knows, if not well, talk sometimes about... things like that. Moreso online, in sudden dark jokes. (Which reminds him, he really should spend more time with Doctor Alphys.)
But knowing isn't understanding, and if Papyrus had a friend who seemed to keep putting themself in harm's way, he might just start to... wonder, and worry. So, just in case Sans has been worrying something of the sort, that's a clear and easy reassurance to give. For the rest...]
Any more than I mean to now... So, maybe that isn't reassuring.
But... unlike back then... I'm well aware of the risks, and I've taken steps to avert any chance of dying.
[His voice lightens, brightens, gains in confidence. Somewhat forced, because pain and loss and uncertainty are still real things, surely no amount of dying and reviving would erase them... but he needs Sans to take heart from his confidence. Not to shrink away like this, especially not so soon after they got him back.]
A-after all, I can't abandon my responsibility, or leave you alone! So I talked to the Ringmaster already. You know the thing that the man Gongenzaka went through, the egg thing?
No matter if Flowey rediscovers a 'murdery' feeling, I will... be okay.
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[Papyrus feels his face fall, as something drops in his rib cage. That tone of voice... it's not much different than how Sans sounded, talking about their father. That feeling... Papyrus can imagine the worrying, the bursts of self-recrimination, the wanting to do anything to protect him... the grieving regret.]
Right, I... died on you, before. I try not to think about that...
[Because, it's like it's not real. For all of Sans' distance and grief, Papyrus can't remember it. How can he be personally impacted by what is, effectively, a sad story? Plausible enough, he willingly believes in it.
It's kind of nice, especially right now, to know he hasn't changed much. That he's able to make similar-looking kinds of choices now, as he did back then. And it's a fun anecdote to briefly share on the radio, a curiosity to wonder at - what was dying like, anyway? - but the notion of time passing where he was just dead, for a long time... it's awful to imagine.]
But, I shouldn't forget how it's affected you. I'm truly sorry to have died! I'm... sure I never meant to.
[He understands that people... might choose that, out of desperate pain and the need to escape. Even people he knows, if not well, talk sometimes about... things like that. Moreso online, in sudden dark jokes. (Which reminds him, he really should spend more time with Doctor Alphys.)
But knowing isn't understanding, and if Papyrus had a friend who seemed to keep putting themself in harm's way, he might just start to... wonder, and worry. So, just in case Sans has been worrying something of the sort, that's a clear and easy reassurance to give. For the rest...]
Any more than I mean to now... So, maybe that isn't reassuring.
But... unlike back then... I'm well aware of the risks, and I've taken steps to avert any chance of dying.
[His voice lightens, brightens, gains in confidence. Somewhat forced, because pain and loss and uncertainty are still real things, surely no amount of dying and reviving would erase them... but he needs Sans to take heart from his confidence. Not to shrink away like this, especially not so soon after they got him back.]
A-after all, I can't abandon my responsibility, or leave you alone! So I talked to the Ringmaster already. You know the thing that the man Gongenzaka went through, the egg thing?
No matter if Flowey rediscovers a 'murdery' feeling, I will... be okay.